


Holy Tears

by zulu



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: 05-xx, Abandoned WIP, F/F, Sequel, Unfinished
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-01
Updated: 2005-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-02 01:23:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zulu/pseuds/zulu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You believed she'd never leave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holy Tears

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to "Smitten".

**Holy Tears**

The campus was enormous. Tara clutched her books to her chest, her heart pounding. It was her first day in Sunnydale, and already she was failing miserably. She should never have left home. University wasn't for girls like her--especially girls like her, as her father had told her over and over again. There were only two years left before she'd have to be hidden away, just like her Mama. Hidden, and kept in her place. Right now, that didn't seem like such a bad thing. At least that place was familiar. Before today, she had woken up every morning to the same four walls, the same routine. The house was full of memories of Mama, and its aura was filled with the homey, comfortable magics they had practiced there together. Sunnydale University was huge and different, and Tara was only one freshman among hundreds. And somehow, in all the confusion, she had managed to lose track of her orientation group. All around her, people were rushing back and forth, carrying books and binders, handing out flyers, playing frisbee and touch football, and right in the middle of it all she was lost.

There was probably an information booth nearby where she could get her bearings, but Tara knew she wouldn't be able to ask for help without stuttering horribly. She couldn't even imagine stopping one of the hurrying people to ask where she was supposed to be. There wasn't a single person around her who looked as helpless as she felt. Everyone had a place to go, people to walk with, or someone to call out greetings to as they passed.

It would do no good to keep standing here, either. It felt like there were a thousand eyes on her, watching her stand about uselessly, and waiting for her to stumble in the wrong direction so that they could point and laugh. Waiting for her to give up and find a pay phone, call her father and admit that she couldn't cope. Tara gripped her books tighter. If she could only find a campus map, she could make her way back to her dorm room, mercifully a single residence, and hide until she was forced to track down her classrooms tomorrow.

Tara took a breath to steady herself and resolutely set out across the wide paved terrace in front of the library. She kept her eyes on her feet, letting her hair fall forward to veil her face. As long as she looked like she knew where she was going, she wouldn't attract any unwanted attention. And, as far as Tara was concerned, all attention was unwanted.

She wasn't watching where she was going, so it was a complete shock when she ran into someone. The jolt made her drop all her books. She nearly fell backwards, but a strong hand caught her arm and pulled her to her feet, holding on until she was steady.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, not looking up. She flushed, her ears warming with embarrassment. The last thing she wanted to do was meet the eyes of her victim and rescuer. Considering how she'd been caught, it was probably a guy. With her luck, he'd tease her for her clumsiness, and that would only make things worse.

"Nah, I'm sorry." The answering voice, surprisingly, was female. "Probably my fault, I wasn't paying attention."

Tara dared to peek at her--the girl was actually shorter than she was, and looked way too petite to have stopped her from falling. Tara didn't know how she'd managed to be the one who was nearly knocked off her feet when they ran into each other, except that she was such a klutz. The girl looked like she'd never tripped over her own shadow before in her life. Tara could sense how balanced she was, how easy she was with her own body's movements. She looked like an athlete, slim, but firmly muscled. And, some part of Tara's brain noticed, completely gorgeous. The perfect California supermodel type. Tara knew she was blushing, but there was nothing she could do about it.

"Let me get these." The girl swooped down and gathered up Tara's books before she even realized she was just standing there, staring. "Here you go."

Tara ducked her head in a sort of thankful nod and took the books, then waited for the girl head off and forget about her, as she surely would. Girls like her didn't stand around talking to people like Tara.

Except she did. "Listen, I know you'd probably like to escape the person who just steam-rolled you, but I am completely lost. Do you know where Erdman is fromhere?"

"Um, a-actually--" Tara heard the catch in her voice and hated it. "I'm lost too."

The girl sighed and nodded sympathetically. "I swear I have an evil orientation leader. He's like the minnow guy." She smiled ruefully. "I'm Buffy Summers, by the way. In case you needed the license plate of that truck."

Tara blinked, a bit bewildered. "The minnow guy?" she asked, missing the introduction altogether.

"You know, half-man, half-cow, lures you into his maze and then eats you?" Buffy wrinkled her nose. "At least, I think he eats you. But why would a cow want to eat a person, anyway? Revenge for all the McDonald's in the world?"

"I-I don't know." Tara hugged her books, and before she knew what she was saying she offered, "Maybe grass gets boring after a while?" She immediately looked down again. Goddess, that sounded dumb. What was she doing having this conversation--or any conversation--with a beautiful girl she'd nearly flattened two minutes ago?

But Buffy was nodding seriously, as though her suggestion made sense. "I could see it. Let me tell you, non-fat yoghurt? Not a good everyday kind of snack. You really have to mix it up, or it gets old fast." She opened a yellow folder and took out a piece of paper. "But back to the matter at hand...you're lost, I'm lost, and right here I happen to have a map of the campus. If only they could figure out how to get the little 'you are here' dot to follow me, I think I'd be doing all right." Buffy sounded aggrieved, but in a sort of teasing way. The banter was aimed at herself more than at Tara, and Tara found herself on the verge of smiling. It was strange, but Buffy was actually incredibly easy to talk to--mainly because she didn't seem to expect Tara to keep up her end of the conversation.

"Now, I think this is the library," Buffy said, turning around and holding the map up in front of her. She inched closer to Tara until their shoulders were touching, so they could both look at the paper. "Here. And I'm giving up on orientation for today, so I think I want to find Stevenson...which is...here." Buffy glanced over her shoulder in the proper direction. "So I'm going that way. How about you?"

Tara swallowed, then managed to speak without stuttering. "I'm in Stevenson, too."

Buffy smiled. "So we're neighbours. Thank God." She tucked the map back in her folder. "I was worried it would be nothing but crazy, hard-drinking frat boys. I admit I'm biased. I went to this frat party in my junior year..." She gave a delicate shudder. "You know, I did not need to know that much about the darker side of pledge rituals." She turned and started walking in towards the path she'd picked out.

Tara hesitated. Did Buffy really want her tagging along? But Buffy was waiting for her, so she hurried to catch up, nearly stumbling over her own feet and going sprawling for a second time that day. She caught her balance and waved off the hand Buffy had extended to her, just in case. Now Buffy was going to realize that she wasn't anyone worth talking to. For five minutes, maybe, she could maintain the illusion that she was a normal girl, but soon Buffy would figure out that she didn't have anything interesting to say, and she'd start pitying Tara, and avoiding her if they ever saw each other again.

But Buffy didn't seem to be realizing anything of the sort. She actually seemed happy to be walking with Tara. "You know, you're the first person I've met who actually seems to feel like I do," she said. "I mean, high school, that was easy stuff. One building, I knew where everything was, I could tell you who was with who, who was wearing Prada and who had fakes, which classes you could nap in safely." She waved at the people passing around them. "Here I miss five minutes of orientation and all of a sudden I'm searching for David Bowie with a bunch of Muppets."

"P-pardon?" Tara snuck a quick look sideways at Buffy. Her blonde hair was mostly tied back, but a few soft wisps framed her face. Her eyes were hazel, shading to green, and incredibly clear as she watched the path ahead of them. "M-muppets?"

Buffy's smile seemed to light up her face, erasing the previous moment's wistfulness. "Sorry. Labyrinth reference. I loved that movie when I was a kid. I have this weird sense of metaphor."

"I don't mind," Tara said softly, quickly looking back to her books. "It-it's interesting, anyway."

"I'm nothing if not interesting. One of my many talents." Buffy's eyebrow quirked, and Tara wondered if she was imagining the innuendo implied by Buffy's tone.

Of course she was. There was no possible way that Buffy was flirting with her. Tara, pudgy and dull, was not the object of anyone's flirting. Probably Buffy had a boyfriend, a big, muscley, football-playing guy who could crush beer cans withhis forehead and do a hundred perfect push-ups in a row.

"I guess you were popular. In high school," she said.

Buffy shrugged. "Not really. I didn't really do the fitting-in thing. I had some, uh, strange hobbies." She rolled her eyes. "When I lived in L.A. I used to be, though. Head cheerleader, all that stuff. But when I moved here, it didn't seem so important..." She trailed off, frowning, her expression darkening.

Tara studied her from behind the shade of her hair, wondering what caused the sudden change. She sensed that Buffy was reliving a painful memory, and she was tempted to look beyond the physical and read Buffy's aura. Normally, Tara was only half-aware of the energies that surrounded the people around her, ignoring the shifting ghosts of their emotions. But with Buffy, she wanted to know more. She wanted to see what was bothering her, and make it better. After only fifteen minutes' acquaintance, that was asking a lot, and Tara was amazed at her own curiosity. She held herself back. Foremost among Buffy's feelings was an intense desire for privacy. The bright, sparkling freshman who chatted and joked so easily with her was only a surface, and Tara didn't want to pry. She bent her head over her books and walked quietly, giving Buffy time to regain her composure.

"Well, this is where I get off," Buffy said, startling Tara out of her musings.

She glanced up to see that they'd entered Steveson. She had unthinkingly followed Buffy to her door. She blushed again. "Oh. W-well, um, th-thank you. For h--for helping me."

"You're sure you can make it from here?" Buffy faked a worried stare. "I could give you the map. Or I could walk you there, just in case."

Tara shook her head, flustered by the teasing. "N-no. I'm only two floors up."

Buffy's face softened. "Sorry."

"It's fine. I'm, just." Tara stammered, unable to finish her sentence. Boring? Odd? A freak? All words that had kept her by herself during high school. She shrugged, and started backing away towards the stairs. She'd been so busy wondering what part of Buffy's past she was hiding that she'd forgotten to act like a normal person. She'd ruined Buffy's attempt to be friendly. "I've got to go," she mumbled, and turned to hurry away.

"Wait." Buffy followed after her. Tara froze on the spot. Buffy touched her arm and turned her around. "Okay, this might sound very Humphrey Bogart, but youcan't leave and not even tell me your name." She grinned, squeezing Tara's hand a little. "Otherwise I'd have to track you down wearing a trenchcoat and a fedora. And I don't look that great in sepia."

"Y-you'd w-want to track me down?" Tara asked, trying not to get lost in Buffy's babbling.

"Yes," Buffy said simply. "And I promise, next time, not so much with the teasing."

"Tara Maclay," Tara told her, not stuttering once. Next time? She gave a lop-sided smile, looking up long enough to meet Buffy's eyes.

Buffy's answering smile widened. "Tara," she said, as though testing the name. "I'll see you around...if we both remember where we live."

It took a full minute for Tara to realize Buffy was gone. She rubbed her thumb across her fingers on the hand Buffy had held, feeling the warmth of the touch spreading through her. Next time. She grinned to herself, hiding it behind her hair, and took the steps two at a time up to her room.

_end: unfinished_


End file.
